The Balance Between Doing and Guilt: Finding Peace in the Middle

“There’s no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” — Jill Churchill

Motherhood is full of constant trade-offs — the tiny, everyday negotiations that make up an entire life.
Screen time or outdoor time.
Healthy meals or an easy dinner.
Work or presence.
Housework or rest.

No matter which way you lean, there’s often guilt waiting on the other side.

You rest — and feel guilty that the house isn’t clean.
You clean — and feel guilty for not resting.
You take time for yourself — and feel guilty for stepping away.
And if you don’t take time for yourself — you feel guilty for losing who you are.

It’s like walking a tightrope between your needs and everyone else’s, trying to keep balance with a heart full of love and a head full of “shoulds.”

The Truth About the Middle

We tend to think balance means choosing correctly — the “right” meal, the “right” activity, the “right” response. But balance, real balance, often lives somewhere in the messy middle.

It’s not screen time or sunshine. It’s both — in rhythm.
It’s not perfection in nutrition. It’s nourishment that includes joy.
It’s not choosing between being a “good mom” or a “good worker.” It’s learning that being a whole woman makes you better at both.

We can’t weigh every choice on a moral scale. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our family is to take the guilt out of the equation.

Guilt Isn’t the Compass

Guilt can be useful — it can point us toward what matters. But it’s not meant to be our compass.
When guilt drives our decisions, joy fades.
When presence leads, guilt softens.

So the next time you feel the familiar tug — the one that whispers, You should be doing more — pause. Ask instead, What matters right now?
Because the answer changes with every season, every stage, every day.

The Real Balance

Motherhood isn’t about finding the perfect middle ground. It’s about learning to live between the pulls — to flow with them, to forgive yourself for the sway.

Some days you’ll be the mom who plays outside all afternoon.
Some days you’ll be the mom who hands over the tablet so you can drink your coffee while it’s still warm.
Both of those moms are doing great. Both are loving their kids.

The balance isn’t between right and wrong — it’s between effort and grace.

And grace will always bring you back home.

🌙 A Gentle Invitation

If you’re craving a space to release the guilt and reconnect with your own rhythm, explore the Evening Reflection Journal — A Gentle Close to the Day. It’s designed to help you let go, reflect with compassion, and rest in peace — because you’re already doing enough.